Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Jehovah's Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk, wins.
Buddhism
He who dies with no toys, wins
Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys, and whoever is caught
selling his toys goes straight to hell.
Atheism
There is no toy maker.
Polytheism
There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.
Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals,loses.
Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Muslim
He who plays only with soldier toys, wins.
Satanism
He who plays with fire, wins.
Judaism
He who plays without following the rules, loses.
Anglican
They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.
7th Day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Baptist
Once played, always played.
A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country." The teacher replies, "Well...that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for."
Another young student raises his hand and says, "I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war." ... "Well, that's another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for." Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, "I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." The teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!" she says, "that's the answer I was looking for." She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop.
Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop. He says, "Why did you say, 'Jesus'?"
The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, "I know it's Moses, and YOU know it's Moses, but business is business."
Artifacts are a major portion of an Indian reservation's economy. Annually, thousands of tourists visit reservations and most will not leave without purchasing at least one momentous of the traditional Indian culture. One enterprising Indian was able to outsell his competitors in the sale of wooden dolls by selling them at only a fraction of the cost others had to charge. On examination of his dolls, they found that where traditionally hard wood was used, this Indian would use cheap pine on which he glued thin pieces of fine mahogany, thus being able to produce the dolls at only a fraction of the cost. While he claimed his dolls were still authentic, his competitors complained that it was only a cheap Sioux Veneer.
